Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett

This book is the 8th book in Terry Pratchett's Discworld series--which is a humor/fantasy series about a flat world which rides through space on the back of a turtle.

I'm going to steal the next two paragraphs from Wikipedia because frankly, I’m not all that great at writing book reports (not particularly revelatory to anyone who reads this blog).

“The story follows a plot by a secret brotherhood, the Unique and Supreme Lodge of the Elucidated Brethren of the Ebony Night, to overthrow the Patrician of Ankh-Morpork and install a puppet king, under the control of the Supreme Grand Master (Vetinari's secretary, Lupine Wonse). Using a stolen magic book, they summon a dragon to strike fear into the people of Ankh-Morpork.


Once a suitable state of terror and panic has been created, the Supreme Grand Master proposes to put forth an "heir" to the throne, who will slay the dragon and rid the city of tyranny. It is the task of the Night Watch – Captain Vimes, Sergeant Colon, Corporal Nobbs, and new volunteer Carrot Ironfoundersson – to stop them, with some help from the Librarian of the Unseen University, an orangutan trying to get the stolen book back.”

Guards! Guards! was very hilarious in a very British way. I’m not incredibly well versed in the art of understanding British humor, but I did find that reading this book with a British accent and imagining Monty Python-esque situations seemed to increase my appreciation of the story significantly. I guess that’s about all I’ve got on this one.

Favorite Quotes: "Aiding and Abetting what, Captain?' said Carrot, as the weaponless guards trooped away. "You have to aid and abet something.' 'I think in this case it will just be generalized abetting,' said Vimes. 'Persistent and reckless abetment." (pg 329)

"They felt, in fact, tremendously bucked-up...which was definitely several letters of the alphabet away from how they normally felt." (pg 157)
If this were a movie, I'd rate it: PG-13

Overall Grade: B

Would I recommend this book to my friends: Yes, the kind of dorky ones.(and I mean "dorky" with the highest possible level of respect.)

On the Road by Jack Kerouac

On the Road is a story about the carefree, irresponsible, nomadic life that sometimes I wish I would have led when I was 20 instead of going to college.

Jack Kerouac tells the story of his adventures hitchhiking, driving (cars owned and stolen), riding trains, and walking across the country (also to Mexico) multiple times over a several year period. He travels with several friends, (some famous as I understand it) the most continuous of whom is Neal—Jack’s loony addict friend who is addicted to sex, drugs, getting married and stealing. Neal simply can’t figure life out but makes traveling a real adventure for Jack and all those who stumble in and out of the story.

The edition of On the Road I read was “The Original Scroll” which was the author’s first draft. It varies from later editions in several ways. The original draft contains the “real” names of the people in the stories and also was written on a literal scroll. It was written in one big three hundred page long paragraph. Whether that’s because Jack didn’t know how to mark a new paragraph on a typewriter or whether he just didn’t care (which seems more likely) I don’t know. The lack of punctuation made the book tough to follow, fragmented, and rough, but was a very interesting read.

Fittingly, the book came to a halt mid-sentence. Apparently, there’s a note at the end of the scroll which reads “DOG ATE”. This edition does slap a fabricated (from the 1957 edition) ending in as an appendix so that readers aren’t left hanging. The ending gave me some insight into what the “real” book reads like as it has a completely different feel from the rough draft which was more artistically written and better developed. All in all, however, I’m glad I read the rough draft, as it was very organic and likely more true to reality than was the revised version. This was an enjoyable read—although devoid of plot twists or any real intensity—but it was a leisurely and entertaining story.

Favorite Quotes: "This is the Story of America. Everybody's doing what they think they're supposed to do." (pg 170)

"I have finally taught Neal that he can do anything he wants, become mayor of Denver, marry a millionairess or become the greatest poet since Rimbaud. But he keeps rushing out to see the midget auto races." (pg 145)

"Somebody had tipped the American continent like a pinball machine and all the goofballs had come rolling to LA in the southwest corner." (pg 206)

If this were a movie, I'd rate it: R...or NC-17 depending on how you chose to make it.

Overall Grade: B-

Would I recommend this book to my friends: Yes.